Hark! (A Carol)

Hark!  The Herald Angels sing:
Glory to the newborn King!
Strife on Earth, Black Friday sales--
Certain this year I'll prevail.
Shoppers, brawlers, gangstas--rise!
Join the melee for the prize!
Trample grandmas to proclaim:
Christ is born in Bethlehem!
Hark! Triumphant shoppers sing:

Glory to our purchased things!

Cash, our favored, most adored.
Wealth, our fluctuating lord.
Bring us greenbacks by the ton.
Santa rally won't you come!
Hustling hard to make more green.
Pray for rising equities.
Low we buy and high we sell.
Profit, our emmanuel.

Hark!  The bullish market sings:
Glory to our newfound bling!

Hail the red clad, jolly Nick.
Bring us everything we wish!
Granting wishes, he's our man!
If he don't, find one who can.
Celebrate while others cry.
Too bad Santa passed them by!
The Christ in Christmas been exed out.
Don't you cry and don't you pout!
Hark!  The reindeer Rudolph sings:
Glory to the mammon king! 

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This is actually one of my favorite Christmas carols, and I just noticed that it's metered like I poem, so I tried my hand at a parody of it. Don't worry I'm not a singer so I won't do a reading (singing) of it :-)

Ignore what people sell you, pay attention what they buy.
The former is misleading, while the latter seldom lies.

Someone Else's Wares

How can you give what's not possesed?  I won-
der how a thing like that could ever be.
To give and yet to be bereft of that
you hope imparted, yet it surely fails.

To give a dollar, first we earn one, then
the giving must succeed.  This math is sim-
ple much too simple, thus we overlook
its applications more abstract than this.

How can the anxious peddle bliss?  'Cause wo-
rry yields more worry.  How can someone thus
consumed be selling peace?  Such pretense, reck-
less vanity, and blind to one's humanity.

The tiny human that believes himself
is more.  First make your house a paradise
and then I may be tempt to sample wares.
If not, you peddle counterfeits, and worse
than this: it's someone else's wares.

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Iamic pentameter.  I think this is starting to grow on me.