Criminal Smooth: The Introduction

I'm villain.  I'm teflon.  I'm criminal smooth.
I'm nice to my friends, but don't get it confused.
Just struck girl named Annie.  Did you hear the news?
'Cause debts, if you have them, I'm coming for you.

And debts, if you have them, don't bother to plead.
I've heard it before and there's really no need.
"Just give me more time, I will pay you next week."
If payment, you had it, you wouldn't see me.

But payment, you haven't.  Don't lie, 'cause I know.
I'll take lamentations in lieu of the dough.
And screaming and pleading and curse me a foe.
Extracting your debts from account of your woe.

Dubbed villain.  Dubbed teflon.  Dubbed criminal smooth.
But really yourself that invite such abuse.
You spent beyond means and then want it for free.
If payment, you had it, you wouldn't see me.

So next time be frugal, don't take lest you earn.
This lesson so painful, I do hope you learn.
'Cause good guys don't issue the credit so yearned.
And bad guys, oh how we love watching you burn!

The one's that say no, are your friend not your foe.
And though we say yes, we're the curse you dub bless.
Delayed it by time, but true colors they shine.
The dawn it comes late, and such woe comes your fate.

And now I've arrived, the great sum of your fears.
Which cannot be drowned by an ocean of beers.
Your wails are melodic and soothing to ears.
And me?  I'm conductor of symphony:  tears.

There's not a free lunch, please don't get it confused.
If you couldn't pay back, then should never have used.
I execute justice yourself have accused.
I'm villain.  I'm teflon.  I'm criminal smooth.

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Was just thinking of the last piece I did on Smooth Criminal and figured we don't know anything about who this smooth criminal is so then thought of telling his story.  Anapestic tetrameter is starting to come naturally now.

Nonsense (Mercury Feet)

The tongue the stick that sounds the drum.
Now count the beat: da DUH da da DUM!
They eat and sleep, and sleep and eat.
Grow sluggish on their mercury feet.

And when we meet, we meet and greet.
And finding though we never did seek.
And spin the straw, producing gold,
A sight which we can hardly behold.

And when we sneak, oh how we creep!
We snuck upon the Little Bo Peep!
Who lost her sheep, began to weep
But then returned on mercury feet.

And tortoise soundly beat the hare.
An outcome that we all should beware.
The tongue the stick that sounds the drum.
Now count the beat: da DUH da da DUM!

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trying a mixed meter, first line of each couplet is straight iambic tetrameter, second line is 3 iambs followed by one anapest... just writing some nonsense poetry to try it out

Smooth Criminal (Hey Annie)

Oh Annie!  Hey Annie!  Hey say it's not true!
I heard you've been struck by a criminal smooth!
He broke through the window, and entered apartment,
And did things so heinous, left blood stains on carpet.

So Annie please call back, and say it's not true.
So Annie do call back, and give me good news.
The sound of your sweet voice puts my heart at ease.
When message, you get this, do call back.  Oh please!

So Annie, please dial and say you're okay.
The rumors, I'm hearing, no mind I should pay!
Your phone was on silent, you heard it not ring.
Or just in the shower and call back first thing!

But I heard glass hit floor like piano crescendo,
And villain did enter by way of the window,
And then did accost you in your own apartment,
And when he did exit, were blood stains on carpet!

So just give a call back and say it's not true.
These fantasies made up of criminal smooth!
My image-ination, my thoughts ran away.
Your phone just lost charge, you're completely okay!

When message, you get this, do call back, I plead.
The sound of your sweet voice puts my heart at ease.
No villain did force you to flee to your bedroom.
No scoundrel did break door and bring you to your doom.

Hey Annie, I'm outside.  The one raising sin!
The cops are so callous, they won't let me in!
I know that you're up there, just call back, I pray!
The sound of your sweet voice, just say you're okay.

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I think everybody knows this song, here's my manic, spoken word remix in anapestic tetrameter :)

If Lord is willing, creek don't rise
A promise kept, 'cept if I die
If I should lie, and fail to wake
The creek done rose, and I am late

News (chorus)

I checked on the news today.
(It's gonna be fine)
Some people abused today.
(It weights on the mind)
I got mistreated and used today.
(The sun will still shine)
I checked on the news today.
(And it was alright)

Take my Love (Firefly Theme Cover)

You took all my love, since I gave it for free.
And you took all my land, without paying the fee.
You left me bereft and thus naked of dirt,
And then wonder why that I'm leaving this Earth?

You took all my love, and you took all my land.
You're taking me swiftly where I cannot stand.
And dare you then wonder why I do not stay,
To pick my bones cleanly until judgement day.

You took all my love, I'm heartbroken and sad.
You took all my land, it was all that I had.
I guess that I wronged you, and this was the fee,
But darling, you can't take the sky 'way from me.

Tomorrow I'm leaving, I'm fading to black.
So do tell your sister I'm sorry for that.
Do tell the Thieves Jolly and ole One-Eyed Jack
Tell them, yes tell them, I ain't coming back.

You can take all my love, since I gave it for free.
And have all my land, must've owed you that fee.
You can burn up the land and then boil the sea,
But darling, you can't take the sky 'way from me.

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Okay, here's my version of the firefly theme song in anapestic tetrameter (why not, I'm on a roll).

Greatest

Show

Ever.

Grenade (Bruno Mars Cover)

What's easy to come is too easy to go.
Inescapable truth that gives birth to my woe.
In hindsight, so clearly, I should have known this.
Your eyes were wide open the first time we kissed!

And you take and you take and you never did give.
I imagine you're heartless as long as you live.
And when you get back to the place that you're from,
Do tell Mr Satan that this round he won.

You said that you love me, but you are a liar.
If my body caught flames you'd throw gas on the fire!
And despite all of this, or perhaps it's because:
My darling I'm giving you all of my love.

And so it's for you, I would catch a grenade.
Throw both of my hands right on top of a blade.
I'd throw my own body in front of a train.
I'd endure all of  this, even much greater pain.

'Cause darling, for you, I would lay down and die.
I'd do this although you would bat not an eye.
For you, yes my darling, I'd catch a grenade.
And yes, even though, you would do not the same!

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Here's a poetry version of Grenade by Bruno Mars.  Anapestic tetrameter, for your tuesday enjoyment